Where Portfolio Management Meets Social Networking
Full Disclosure: Dennis may or may not know this website exists. This is a satirical homage created by admirers. For actual professional contact, use LinkedIn. For fan mail about Heidi, we'll forward it... eventually.
For serious business inquiries, professional networking, and proof that Dennis is a real person with a real job.
Connect on LinkedIn →✨ Most likely to respond here
Dennis's professional home, where he manages portfolios with science, strategy, and probably thinks about Heidi during lunch breaks.
Visit Dimensional →💼 Actual professional stuff happens here
Unofficial fan club for the real star of this website. Membership fee: one (1) belly rub and unlimited treats.
Join the Club →🌭 Most important connection
Dimensional is a leading global investment firm that has been translating academic research into practical investment solutions since 1981. With a focus on systematic investing and financial science, they manage over $600+ billion in assets for clients worldwide.
Dennis serves as a Portfolio Manager, applying evidence-based strategies to help clients achieve their financial goals. It's like being a financial scientist, but with better office views and occasional thoughts about what Heidi is doing at home.
UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School - Where Dennis learned that diversification applies to both portfolios AND dog breeds.
Since this is a homage website, here are creative ways to appreciate Dennis's existence:
Read Dimensional's research papers and feel smart. Bonus points if you understand more than 30% of it.
The ultimate tribute. Name it Dennis Jr. Make sure to send photos (we'll forward them... maybe).
Whatever you do, do it with the dedication Dennis brings to portfolio management. And pet ownership.
Draw dachshunds. Paint portfolios. Sculpt financial graphs. Get weird with it.
Host a dachshund racing event. Award the "Dennis Gavrilov Excellence in Sausage Athletics" trophy.
Become a wiener dog expert. Quiz your friends. Make it your personality. No regrets.
This website contains several hidden surprises. Can you find them all?
Those aren't just decorative stars—they're traveling through space-time, just like Dennis's career trajectory.
The title glitch represents the chaos of markets vs. the stability of systematic investing. Deep.
Every card has a unique hover animation. We spent way too much time on these.
The homepage stats actually animate when you scroll to them. Watch those numbers climb!
Count the hotdog emojis across all pages. The total has significance. (It doesn't, but it sounds cool.)
Purple + Gold = UNC colors. Portfolio management + Tar Heel pride = Dennis.
Whether you're here for portfolio management insights, dachshund appreciation, or just stumbled upon this masterpiece of web development—welcome! The internet is a weird and wonderful place, and we're glad you're here.
For Real Professional Inquiries:
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dennisgavrilov
For Questions About Dimensional:
Website: dimensional.com
For Questions About This Website:
Answer: It's a joke site made with love and CSS. No refunds. 😄